15 Tips to Calm Your Mind

16th Dec 20193rd Jan 2020 | pocketdreams24

We all have days, situations, moods and sometimes nothing specific at all, that cause us to worry. And at times, it can be quite difficult to climb back out of that black hole.

Whatever it is, I promise you, you will be okay.

In the meantime, here are a few pieces of advice that I’ve accumulated over the years that have helped me and that hopefully can help you too on days when your brain needs a little hug.

1- Close your eyes or take a soft focus and take deep, steadying breaths.

Concentrate on the way each breath feels as your chest, stomach and back expand and relax.

Count your number of inhales and exhales.

It often appeases my mind to imagine my inhalations as one colour, spreading all the way from my core down to the tips of my fingers and toes, farther and brighter with each inhale; and my exhalations as a different colour, shrinking and dimming as my body expels them.

2- Visualize a place that makes you feel calm and safe, it does not need to be real.

For example, I love to swim, it is when I feel the most free. So my calm place is me floating on warm, crystal blue waters, carried weightlessly high above white sands and sparkly shells, maybe even with a few harmless stingrays soaring around me, gazing up into a baby blue sky, finding shapes in the clouds.

And I remind myself that this place exists within me. And I am safe.

Find yours.

3- Imagine the worst case scenario for whatever situation you are facing and then picture yourself getting through it fine. This makes you realize that even if the thing you are dreading most happens, you will be okay.

4- For every negative thought, counteract it with a positive one.

This seems simple enough, but it must be used consciously and consistently to have a positive effect.

For example: “This is going to suck. – It might actually be fun.” Or, “I am so nervous. – But I am also so brave!”

5- Tell yourself that regardless of what happens, you have taken care of yourself and got yourself this far in Life and so you can rely on yourself no matter what ! You are smart, strong and courageous.

Believe it.

6- Don’t apologize. You have every right to feel the way you are feeling and you are feeling this way for a reason. Don’t feel guilty.

How would you speak to your best friend if they were feeling this way ? Try speaking to yourself in a similar fashion.

7- If you can, listen to uplifting, inspirational music. (I personally love “This is Me” from The Greatest Showman.)

8- Take baby steps.

Think of the next immediate thing you need to do and only focus on that. Once that is complete, think of the next thing and give that one thing all of your attention and energy.

And keep going, step by step.

When you break things down into smaller components, they don’t seem quite as daunting.

For example: “All I need to do right now is eat breakfast. Now I just need to go to my car. Now I need to simply drive down this street, now this street and this street. Now I need to park. Now all I do is walk through these doors. Now I introduce myself and listen.”

These are all simple tasks that we know we are capable of achieving.

9- You are not a victim.

Remember that this is your Life and you are in control of your decisions. Always make decisions that will lead you toward the best version of yourself.

If you chose to do this, it was for a reason and if you decide that it is not what is best for you, then you can always change your decision.

10- ACCEPT how you feel, don’t push it away. Feel what you need to feel, maybe even try to pinpoint where you feel it in your body and make a conscious effort to relax the muscles around that area.

Again, breathe.

Know that it is a feeling and feelings are temporary.

11- Talk about it.

It’s okay to say that you are feeling nervous, everyone has felt this way at some point or another and it will help those surrounding you to understand your feelings and behaviour and allow them to possibly help.

Honest communication is always better for both sides, as it relieves you from something that has been weighing you down and it opens a gateway for others to offer reassurances and/or advice; rather than leaving you to deal with unsaid and more often that not, untrue worries of what others are thinking.

12- Trust yourself.

You know how much you believe in the people you love ? That is how much they believe in you. That is how much all the tiny atoms in your body believe in you and take care of you and love you every day.

Remember that thing a few weeks, months, years ago that you didn’t think you could do ?

Well you did it.

And you can do this too.

13- Go outside if you can. Go for a walk. Listen to the sounds around you. Look up at the sky.

14- The sun will rise again tomorrow.

Something my Dad told me when I used to get nervous about literally everything.

No matter the worst possible outcome of whatever situation you’re worrying about, you have not set off an apocalyptic catastrophe. (Unless you’re a superhero dealing with bigger problems than most of us. If so, please let me know if you read my blog because that will make me feel very cool.) The world will keep spinning. The sun will rise again. And you will be dazzled by an infinite amount of new opportunities each and every day.

So even if this doesn’t work out, something else will.

15- Practice gratitude.

Thinking of things that you are grateful for is a wonderful way to remember what an amazing life you live and how very lucky you are. It often puts things into perspective, making you realize that you don’t need to worry this much. Regardless of how this interview goes, the people that love you will still and always will love you. No matter if this date sucks, you will still have eyes that can read books and see colours and watch your favourite movies. Even if you have a difficult first day at your new job, you will still have these lovely legs that can take you different places every day. And stars to gaze at and animals to love and songs to sing.

Even if things don’t go exactly as you have planned in that marvellous mind of yours, this world is still pretty great.

And you can make new plans tomorrow.

And with each one that doesn’t go quite the way you expect it to, it will get a little easier to enjoy this unpredictable ride.

Why don’t you try listing 3 things right now that you are grateful for, and see how you feel.

Goddess

28th Nov 2019 | pocketdreams24

I have been very drawn to the word Goddess lately.

The word, the idea, the way that so many different people have their own individual perception of it.

I’ve seen artists’ depictions of glistening women with flowing hair and sparkling dresses.

I’ve smelled the perfume at Saje, that evoked forests, flowers and early morning mists all rolled into one.

I’ve read about the multiple Greek versions: strong, romantic, cunning, irresistible and unforgiving.

I’ve practiced the yoga pose, a gateway between the solidity of the Earth and the freedom of the Sky, bonded by our human body.

And I wondered, if I had to create my own version of a Goddess, what would it be ?

So I will attempt to make mine with words.

The Baby Goddess is filled with Wonder. She finds shapes in the clouds, leaps into every puddle, protects anthills from giant drops of rain. She has enormous dreams that change like the wind. One day she dresses up as a pirate, the next an astronaut, the day after that a mermaid and so on. Her world is full of possibilities after all. She feels emotions that are 10 feet tall, while her body barely reaches 3.

Her imagination comes to life through the stories she is read and she develops a hunger for more, longing to discover such adventures for herself.

As she grows, her focus strays.

The opinions of others weigh heavily on her and self doubt creeps in.

She loves certain people and is not loved in return. She lives through confusion, heartbreak, worry and the unforeseen.

She blossoms into a more mature Goddess, who returns her focus to her dreams. She must love herself fully, before devoting any of her energy to another. She turns her gaze inward, no longer seeking external validation.

She rediscovers her childlike wonder for the world around her. She wants to experience everything: see all the colours, taste the breeze, feel the sunshine and the rain soaking into her skin. The music she listens to resonates within her and shines down into the deepest corners of her soul. She dances wildly, spinning beneath the stars of this improbable galaxy, until she’s dizzy and breathless with delight.

She has days where she longs to be as delicately beautiful as a flower, growing so courageously in the most challenging of conditions and adding colour and joy to the lives of those around it.

Other days, she dreams of being as devastating and powerful as a hurricane, a force of nature that no one dares to try to control; or a stroke of lightning, terrifying the ones it strikes, but allowing them to survive and reevaluate the kind of mark they are choosing to leave on this world.

Every day she protects the innocent, the animals, the children, the pure of heart.

She will defend them with every ounce of herself, because everything that is good and kind and honest is what should be preserved forever.

She has struggled and been terrified of her own existence.

But every day she gets up.

Every day she tries.

She refuses to live a life based on fear.

This Goddess.

She lives inside of YOU.

My Self

3rd Nov 2019 | pocketdreams24

You used to scare me.

You would tell me to be afraid of everything.

You would tell me that I wasn’t smart enough. Not pretty enough. Not funny enough. Not talented enough. Not strong enough.

And I believed you.

Sometimes I still do.

But I started looking in the mirror and realizing that I don’t like you.

And I began to spend more time in the sun.

More time by the water.

More time painting.

More time watching sunsets.

Bloom

20th Nov 20183rd Nov 2019 | pocketdreams24

A few years ago, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I cannot begin to imagine the internal battle she fought, since all she externalized was strength. She never complained, she was so positive and continued trying to do all of her usual activities.
I however, could not handle it. I ran away from it, being home as little as possible, because it hurt too much to see her so sick while I couldn’t do anything to make it better. I skipped most classes during my last year of high school and didn’t tell anyone about it. If I didn’t say it out loud, maybe it wasn’t real. I was a coward and still feel horribly guilty for not being there for her.
For years I couldn’t deal with it, even after she got better. I couldn’t say the “C word”, would leave the room if someone else mentioned it, I refused to watch movies or television shows if one of the characters was sick, I never talked to my family about it, I acted like it never happened. But I would have nightmares about me finding a lump in my breast, or worse, my mum getting sick again. I would wake up shaking and crying and unable to calm down.
I got really drunk one night this year, and something triggered me, breaking me down into a sobbing mess, huddled on the floor in the corner of the bathroom. But someone I love very much said one simple thing over and over: “She’s okay now.” And as silly as it may seem, that helped. It felt as if a weight that I hadn’t even been aware of, had been lifted.
A few weeks ago, I was watching a new show that I looooved, Jane The Virgin, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Jane’s mom got diagnosed with breast cancer. I immediately turned it off and decided not to watch it anymore. My boyfriend gently told me that we grow through facing our fears, but I refused to continue watching with him. A few days later, after having mulled it over, I decided it was something I needed to do alone. So I watched the next episode and the next and I cried and I laughed; and I realized that I didn’t want to be a coward anymore.
So I started a painting of a woman’s anatomy, slightly resembling that of a plant, whose chest is covered by a monarch butterfly. The placement represents the beauty left by a single or double mastectomy.
My decision in using the monarch butterfly has 2 polarized meanings behind it:
Firstly, monarch butterflies are toxic, which I thought to be an accurate portrayal of cancer.
But secondly, they are beautiful and see the colours of the world on a spectrum unknown to humans. This is the way I imagine my mother to be after having come out of such an awful situation an even more stunning woman who sees the world differently to others who haven’t experienced such things.
The word “monarch” can also describe the ruler of a kingdom, such as a queen, a term of endearment my father often uses, referring to himself and my mother as King and Queen.
The use of the monarch butterfly in this painting was further solidified by the inspiration I have always, but especially recently, felt from Halsey’s music which often depicts the butterfly.
As for the flower atop her head, I chose it partially because daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings and partially as a tribute to the fond memories I have of reading Rose Petal Place as a child with my mum.
Ultimately, butterflies and flowers represent endurance, growth, hope and life. My mother has endured so much and grown so gracefully through it all, showing me to live hopefully.
I would like to emphasize that I only focused on my side of the story, as hers is not mine to tell and the ache that I felt was nothing compared to what she went through.
And while these words and even these brushstrokes don’t do justice to the enormity of the feelings they depict or the admiration that I have for her, it feels good to finally share them.
Now I just have to convince her to get a matching monarch tattoo with me !